the leaven trait.

2009-10-14T17:49:00.002+08:00

GREEN DAY.
LIVE IN SINGAPORE.
14-01-2010.

'Nuff said.

"I SAY EHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-OOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! "

2009-08-14T15:53:00.001+08:00

www.twitter.com/benlow

www.facebook.com/benlow

/end

2008-11-27T17:10:00.000+08:00

2008-11-27T14:11:00.007+08:00

every time i see those posters or ads i get a fire inside. like, do i really want it back or not? strange. i can't decide if this frustration is fueling me to do better or to totally destroy what i started. thanks for the double standards man. way to go.

i thought i had done enough. kind of reminds me of another idiot i once knew. going for the better thing, right? right.

Green Day's new album will be out in 2009. about time. pretty damn excited about the school invasion tour finale and being back to school. everything is so complicated and fun at the same time. really blessed to have the street team on the case. without them, the show(s) wouldn't be as smooth sailing.

random advise to those who need some:

1. you are the change you want to see in the world.
2. you always have a choice.
3. do the opposite, if the results are always the same.
4. what are you waiting?

because it's scattered inside out. because it's like going to college tomorrow without you.
because it's a love song for a vampire? i'm so tired i can't sleep.
first day of the rest of my life, i miss you already.

2008-11-04T14:13:00.004+08:00

hello ariel.

2008 has been one helluva year, but i'm not ready to close it yet. and i'm sorry for taking such along time again.
everybody needs somebody and i'm just glad to be there. i just hope that when the time comes, you'll be there for me too.

and what a time it has been for making new allies and welcoming younger people in this episode.

2008-10-25T14:04:00.001+08:00

It would have been cool to take the time to know more about the band Vermillion, before and after.

The guys in the band have given a lot of their time and effort in creating shows for our scene. Both in their other respective bands, as well as in organization.

Support for the local bands, would have at least been a decent thing to do.
Especially those fighting the good fight.

Big kudos to Avenged Sevenfold for coming back to Singapore for their fans and thumbs up to Vermillion for having the balls to do something not many people in the crowd could or would do, given your scenario.

See you guys at WeekendTRIP on November 15th 2008. /m/

2008-09-14T13:52:00.002+08:00

you know when you want to be with someone for a very long, long time... just by watching her sleep.

2008-05-20T22:16:00.001+08:00

i think the peter pan complex , is more complex than i thought. hmm.

2008-05-09T18:50:00.000+08:00

hello ariel. i really miss rocking out on stage.

2007-10-31T13:09:00.000+08:00

Dear family & friends,

Today, Doubleyellowline(DYL) is proud to announce its latest move in its integration into Invasion Productions which has taken effect on October 27th, 2007.
This integration represents a strategic pooling of the expertise of two companies, in an effort to revolutionize the music and events industry.

Doubleyellowline has rapidly become one of the leading organizations in gig execution, band support and live communication and networking. Doubleyellowline strongly believes in the much needed boost for fresh bands as well as to advance the development of veteran musicians.

Invasion Productions has emerged to inspire, educate and entertain Singapore’s youth through innovative arts outreach programmes, upholding a holistic outreach that encompasses these values. Invasion Productions is responsible the School Invasion Tour, which is a series of music-related tours homing into schools in Singapore.

Kindly direct all enquiries or concerns to your current Doubleyellowline contact. We can be still reached on our existing contact numbers and email addresses until further notice.

Team Doubleyellowline would like to thank you for your confidence and unwavering support during the past 4 years. It has been an awesome experience and now, it is time we move on to something bigger.

We look forward to a continuing working relationship with you in the near future under a new flag!

Local Music still Lives!

Yours faithfully,
Ben Low
Founder & Producer
Doubleyellowline

2007-10-03T02:08:00.000+08:00

i was laying in bed. i was counting sheep, then i ran out. and when i ran out, i turned on my laptop and came here. i have alot of disorganized thoughts. i said that already havent i. i have learned, that my cough subsides significantly when i am calm. there are very few moments when i fee calm.

i feel calm hours before a show, when i'm at home. there's this ritual where i stare out far into the skyline. i can see one-seventh of east coast...and almost half of its surrounding buildings. it is the last 3 weeks before i never see this 14th floor view again. much has happened in this home and the people i've spent it in with. spent in with it? spent with in it? shit. what's wrong with me. i like sun in my eye. not directly though.

i don't have any classmates. never had. which pains me as a university student. secondary school was shit for cliques. i had(have) edison though. maybe quality IS better than quantity. primary school was my favourite. maybe because it was all marbles, spiders and ice-cream sticks. life was simpler. all i had to worry about was losing my teeth and trying to pass my chinese spelling tests. i have a confession to make. i had a thing for my chinese teacher back then. i was sec 4 and she was probably my age then. she was attractive, kind and offered to help me with my mandarin at her place after school because my mother tongue sucked ass. still does today.

i remember i was bald for while. i have this photo where i'm pretending to read a chinese textbook. its upside down. and i'm bald. i think i cut my hair coz i got in trouble with the principal. mr.james ong. he left way back. i never really forgave him for disbanding my basketball team to make way for rugby. we even defeated acs once i think. it was covered in the new paper. this was in 1996, i think. i still respect him though. he made damai. now i'm afraid look out my balcony.

i wonder who coined the phrase... 'back in the good ol'days....'.

i wear band t-shirts because they represent a specific time in my life. just like how certain albums remind you of special places, people and times you've had.

i'm sentimental like that.

"There's a boy who fogs his world and now he's getting lazy
There's no motivation and frustration makes him crazy
He makes a plan to take a stand but always ends up sitting.
Someone help him up or he's gonna end up quitting"

- Who Wrote Holden Caulfield?

2007-09-29T12:58:00.000+08:00

i stepped out of the cab and began throwing up all over my lift lobby. and it wasn't your watery, 'out it comes from your nostrils too' kind of vomit day. it was dry. so clumps of rice(courtesy of din tai fung) were trying to claw its way out of my throat. it was like dry alkali...sour and gross. godammit.

i laid down on my parquet floor and just stayed there...weezing. my chest was tight and my stomach was tired. i kept thinking that it may have been the phlegm...or too much of it. i had shallow breaths, head was still spinning from the throbbing barfing episode. there was alot of blood in the mucus and saliva. so i kept spitting till there was no more. a good sign, i supppose....but only after 20 mins.

i managed to drag myself to the bed. i fell asleep... only to find myself in the same position, 4 hours later. that was 4:25am.

my throat hurts and the body's aching. i feel more pounded like a punctured roti prata. so yeah, the cough's back. funny thing is that i've been getting the best sleep in years. almost a full 8 a night. there's no haze or stress at work. but there's school, so maybe thats it. i don't know.

a dozen trips to the pharmacist proved useless in the past month. it was funny how she automatically handed me my usual even before i uttered a word, when i walked in the store. i should stop going. bad sign. why would a pharmacist be more apt than a doctor? i maybe wrong.

"sometime old men die with little boy faces..."
- jakob dylan, the wallflowers.

2007-09-28T00:45:00.000+08:00

so here i am, blogging. it's 1246am...and i'm supposed to finish my essay on paranormal belief vs. conditional reasoning.

i went to visit my new place to welcome the Ikea men and my new bed, desk, etc. and couldn't stop thinking about how close i was to a place i used to visit. this has nothing to do with winnie. but it brought me back to what simei was like, 8 years ago.

it was merely the modest times of you.

a model with a psychology degree, with a flair for photography.
a pilot who could get down and dirty with the best of us and ENTERTAIN ME!(no, not me.)
a cop whose job i've come to respect and honour.
a lifeguard who couldn't understand the meaning of impossible and never underestimated his peers.
a lifeguard who used to get on everyone's nerves. bless you in heaven dear friend.
a lonely planet traveler who has been to places she's always dreamed of going.
a teacher, sister, my hong kong friend who i used to sleep next to with on safari beds.
a basketball coach who felt i was somewhat important in the team. both teams.
a student, and i call you this because i have no idea what you are doing today. i miss your mosquito face net.
a motivational speaker who never really understood me, much less himself.
a regular in the army, oh man...why did you have to tell me you were getting married the day BEFORE you got married?
and other seekers i can't really talk about because i'm hungry and lost my appetite at the same time.

the less than jake album is the only album that spins these memories. the irony is that it's called 'losing streak'. thanks eunice. the names of my nephew's last and current girlfriends are aveline and aletheia, respectively. weird eh. coincidence?
-shrugs- hang in there neph.

okay. i just ordered macdonalds. i'm trying a new ABSOLUTELY NO DAIRY PRODUCTS diet now. so my plain big mac meal has no cheese or anything else. just patty and me. pattie and me. good thing fries ain't got no milk in them. biting fries oozin with calcium. healthy fries for kids? tsk.

i can only say that i am a CREEP RADIOHEAD fan. that's about it. everything else they play is just...i don't know.

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN.
you're so fucking special.
i'm a creep.
i'm a winner.
what the hell am i doing here.
i don't belong here.
i don't belong here.

i can hear the ships blowing their horn from my window, in bedok.
all the small things.
i will miss this place.

i just realize i can't organize my thoughts properly.

2007-09-26T10:34:00.000+08:00

oh crap.

[click]
Giving up milk and dairy products results in positive transformation in personal health -- exclusive interview with Robert Cohen[click]

maybe it was pizza and ice-cream killing me all along.

2007-09-24T17:55:00.000+08:00

i had so much to say.
then i totally forgot what i wanted to type.

i'll be back.

2007-09-02T12:55:00.000+08:00

hello world.

i also had the opportunity to see dave grohl in the flesh @ this fancy-smanshee place called fashion bar. it's a sure fact that everytime i'm at a pub, bar or club...the reason can and will only be musically driven.

for example:

thumper - doubleyellowline show every wednesday nights
zouk - motorola music awards, nominees super illegals.
prince of wales - TLT
zombie rock bar - TLT
bar none - super illegals, TLT
et al.

even my first time at zouk was to support juan and his now defunct band, RAFE(rock.and.fuck.everything) that played the 2004 powerjam competition and won. oh, i got another guilty pleasure. this chris daughtry guy is not bad. catchy lah this american idol fella. probably the only idol(in my book) worth listening too. sorry idol fans.

in other news, an old friend is pregnant, so congrats Dawn! i'm sure you'll make a gooodie mummy. this is also the part where we say fairly farewell. you have secured your 'Marry Me Fund'. -smiles- i wish you all the happiness in the universe and to this new life you will be bringing into this world, rock on.

holy shit im getting older.

(sorry God.)

2007-08-30T22:00:00.000+08:00

hello readers.

do you use Starhub's Wireless Broadband Modem for your laptop? it's like Wireless SG, but you don't need to be stuck at a certain location to use it. so basically, you can go anywhere, with good reception, and use this thing.

M1's service sucked ass. so i terminated my contract and the service altogether.
now, i need to know if Starhub's modem kicks ass.

a very helpful staff assisted me today, eventhough i went to the wrong hub shop. i wanted to jump the queue ethically. she had a cool name too: 'Zen'. i won't be attempting a cheap shot at the name. anyway, it was better service than most of my starhub visits. the most important thing is that she(and her colleagues) tried, eventhough the outcome was for naught.

i appreciate things like this. don't you?

i've always wondered, how people assume something is bad, when they don't get it to begin with. so how do they know its truely bad? or wrong? or ....not cool? doesn't that make them look rather silly? you need to be damn sure nowadays man. everyone's quicker today. make damn sure okay? make damn sure. there's this line from 'life in general'. its goes: 'learn to think, before you speak; and you just might make a point'. how old already huh people? must a 26 year old in an 18 year old body teach you the ways of the 'wakeupyouridea'? ZI SUI LIAO. (to my malay and indian counterparts, that means, 'how old already?!?!' in hanyu ping yin) except for the 'liao'. that's just singlish.

i spent approx. $250.00 for 5 months of 'i can't surf for shit!'.

very disgruntled, i am.

why like that? sigh.

2007-08-26T03:00:00.000+08:00

i never thought i would see NOFX, much less MXPX, live in singapore.
but i did.

paul, sihui(the neph's lady friend, whose name i probably got wrong), roslan and Co. and even aletheia was there too.
i must have met a dozen or so familiar faces there. hambril had to miss this, again.

all the bands were great and mxpx was everything i hoped it would be. the band has been playing punkrock for 15 years. never wavered to trends or 'growing up'(inverted commas, for the not-so-observant) come on, you know what the i'm talking about. yeah. i've discoverd that there's a big difference between growing up and growing up to be a pretentious worm.

your trippy screaming atmospheric idols started with this. remember that.

oh, i also went to see Christina Aguilera at the indoor stadium. she was all dancey and pregnant on stage.

hey, what do you call a group of friends who sits on a carpet all night long discussing everything under the stars(literally too), plays video/computer games till the sun comes up, transforms into colleagues for days and for some, months and shares beds, plays different type of music, have suppers THEN breakfast on days back to back AND has the right to sing 'Regardless or race, language or religion' songs?

that's right. not your friends.

mine. :)

*scrolls and clicks on an MxPx track*

here are 2 group photos during Doubleyellowline's work @ Baybeats 2007. enjoy.

2007-06-13T10:30:00.000+08:00

slowly going the way of the buffalo.

its been almost 4 weeks since i've left. its easier to breathe here, not to mention eating up fresh ideas after joining forces with former kinokuniya, mph, times and of course, borders execs. all, fallen from grace. (so drama right? just books only whaaaatt)still, i'm amazed how far i've come. who would have thought that i'd be doing this for a living. i'm not sure if i'm really passionate about the book industry or whether it's a fantastic support for my music. as my dad once said, 'it doesn't matter what the outcome is, what counts is the decision made at the point in time, with the best possible information provided to you'.

super illegals is unique. so once again, i'm rostered in a band full of musicians. i'm surprised we have made it this far too. never thought i would be playing indie-type of beats, though...i'm not exactly doing so. but i try. i can't help it, i'm born, bred punkrock. its a bittersweet transition for me. from green day, nofx, no use for a name...to idlewild, amusement parks on fire and yeahyeahyeahs. bottomline, i'm honoured to play with this group of crazy nuts.

it would also be nice to play some punkrock soon. on the streets of orchard road or some random school is fine with me too. that's the way it should be for the 4 brothers.

i remember this dream. not a drummer, i already knew that at the beginning. just someone trying to play simple drums. i'm just happy some of you enjoy it.

thank you ariel.

5 days with the missus was nice. i think i need to do something about my bruxism. i'm not sure how eileen really feels about it. i know its disruptive and annoying. so sorry dar. oh, and i've never had so much cooked food, consecutively. not to mention ice-cream and chocolate sweets.

the last night ended with 3 movies:

elizabethtown (a very sweet love story about life, death and throwing it all away and gaining much more. DID YOU KNOW? : this was orlando bloom's first modern-day role in a major film)

polar express (i wish i had watched this on x'mas eve, awesome show. tom hanks. /m/ DID YOU KNOW? : there were multiple references to 'back to the future', go find out!)

8 mile (WATCH THIS MOVIE FOOL!!! OR IMMA BUST A CAP IN YO RAGGEDY ASS! Did you know? : the use of the word 'fuck' = exactly 200 times)

eileen took care of a little boy...girl....damn, 'it' today. she gave him a sweet and made 'it' comfortable. calista helped too. eileen then carried 'it' and stopped the crying by saying the word 'mummy'.

she still doesn't know whether its a boy or girl. the mother was rude though.

good job dar. :)

juan is going NS tomorrow! /m/

2007-05-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

Today is my last day with the company.

"Please understand
This isn't just goodbye
This is I can't stand you
This is where the road crashed into the ocean
It rises all around me
And now we're barely breathing
A thousand faces we'll choose to ignore

Curse my enemies forever
Let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful
This desperation leaves me overjoyed
With fading lights that lead us past the lives that we destroy

I listen to you cry
A cry for less attention
But both my hands are tied
And I'm pushed into the deep end
I listen to you talk but talk is cheap
And my mouth is filled with blood
From trying not to speak
So search for an excuse
And someone to believe you
In foreign dressing rooms
I'm empty with the need to

Please understand

Lay rotting where I fall
I'm dead from bad intentions
Suffocated and embalmed
And now all our dreams are cashed in
You swore you wouldn't lose then lost your brain
You make a sound that feels like pain

So please understand
This isn't just goodbye
This is I can't stand you"

- No, It Isn't, +44.

welcome to the 2nd, and worse love-hate relationship ever.
i'll visit some time.

2007-05-03T13:36:00.000+08:00

it felt good being in the room with old faces, the familiar strengths that held you, common folk with elvensight.
it was the first time in a damn long time that i've felt this way. it reminded me of a time. which is why i must go.

yes, it is a big melodramatic deal to me.

nothing ever stays the same.

desert wolves lasted a year, at most. i haven't guarded for so long.
running around in de_dust held its own for almost 2 years.
sunseekers had a good running, but it will never be the same again. no, i repeat, we are not.
there can be no punkrock when there is no heart. because it was the only thing that propelled us.
doubleyellowline is my greatest failure, yet my biggest success. passion can never truly be destroyed.
the borders experience has done it part. so long and thanks for the books.
the marykate and skunklord adventures will prevail, as long as i am alive.

the truth has made a wrong turn, yet again. but i am not going to question it. i won't be holding on so much now that i've learned so much about myself. sinking ship or not, my resolve is clear. thank you for the advice though. culinary escapades can go a long way. bite the hand that feeds, burning bridges, who the hell came up with these phrases?

the point is to do what you can, with what you have...that has always been the way, now. to me at least.

i only said that it was not my intention. for the most part.

Buddha: 'Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.'

2007-04-26T09:45:00.000+08:00

Borders has served its purpose and I have served mine. if time is what everyone has been talking to me about since the incident, then this is what its all about. And that time is now. It has been excruciating, it has been simply delightful.

special thanks to these people, who will never read my blog.

[singing with siti, laughing with latifah...the sisters who mean the world to me. june's care and tenderness till this day, michelle's outrageous listening ear and support. without razi, sharil and karen wee....i'm not sure what i'll be doing now. though i'll be seeing one of you really soon. qingwen's uncanny wisdom and forwardness was always refreshing. kindred spirit of ana, you're funny as me godammit. audrey, for baring your soul at the weirdest times and for the coolest hair and patience ever. karen toh, christy and grace, its been great having mothers in wheelock. maya, for dancing with my life, because pang-jio say pang-jio. my love-hate relationship with jamie, i curse you with happiness and ERPL. farokh, for your music and for being you. wenting, did you know i'm an L-Word fanatic? screw the sex man, the drama is the shite. calista's friendship and an upcoming renewal of colleague status very soon! ahzari, thanks for reserving my alternativepress magazines. haider's bitchiness and comradarie was always a riot. philander, good luck and thanks for all the sushi bro. i'm an ass for forgetting anyone here]

farewell borders. its time for the next chapter of my life to begin. (pun-fucking-intended)

i stopped at the wrong bus-stop for the longest time. i walked in the rain, alone. i forgot my umbrella, again.
15minute walks for 3 months. i fed on the orchard stretch for the worse parts of my days. i only knew where i had to go....not where i supposed to be. everyone was right.

it is the journey.

everything will be alright in the end.

she will never be happy.

but i am. because i know how.
this is how i know i am still me.

this is before everything and after.

"you're not alone anymore
nothing will be like before
nothing will ever be the same"
- mxpx.

2007-04-24T09:04:00.000+08:00

this is random.

i got this off friendster. i think it was from dorisa's post and i decided to try it just for the heck of it.

INSTRUCTIONS
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to
the question even if it doesn't make
sense. NO CHEATING!

[brackets denote eileen's results!] GO!

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Lori Meyers by NOFX [ Find The Real by Alter Bridge ]

WHAT'S YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE?
Carousel by Blink182 [ Blankest Year by Nada Surf ]

WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK OF YOU?
Without You by Mxpx [ That's Why We Call It A Union by Less Than Jake ]

WHAT DO STRANGERS THINK OF YOU?
Like Lovers Holding On by Texas [ Love Is A Losing Game by Amy Winehouse ]

WHAT DOES YOUR EX THINK OF YOU?
Happy Now by No Doubt [ A Maria Le Gusta by Juan De Marcos Afro Cuban ]

HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE?
Online Songs by Blink182 [ Underappreciated by Christina Aguilera ]

HOW WILL YOUR LOVE LIFE BE IN THE
FUTURE?
Is the Answer In the Question? by Mxpx [ St. Jimmy by Green Day ]

WILL YOU HAVE KIDS?
Bab's Uvula Who? by Green Day [ Pathetic & Hopeless by It's Like Love ]

ARE YOU GOOD AT SCHOOL?
Love You 300 Times by Zhang Zhen Yue [ My Mannequin Can Dance by Matchbook Romance ]

WILL YOU BE SUCCESSFUL IN LIFE?
Whacko Jacko Steals the Elephant Man's Bones by Fall of Troy [ Petrified by Fort Minor ]

WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY ON YOUR
BIRTHDAY?
WMA by Pearl Jam [ My Heart by Paramore ]

WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY AT YOUR
FUNERAL?
Supermodel by The Presidents of the United States of America [ The Right Man by Christina Aguilera ]

THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE ?
Dancing For Rain by Rise Against [ MIA by Avenged Sevenfold ]

YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE?
Hit & Miss by New Found Glory [ February Stars by Foo Fighters ]

HAPPY TIMES:
Ataraxia by Everclear [ The Hard Way by Fort Minor ]

SAD TIMES:
Make You Smile by +44 [ American Idiot by Green Day ]

EVERY DAY:
Life Less Frightening by Rise Against [ Slow Down Baby by Christina Aguilera ]

FOR TOMORROW:
Breakout by Foo Fighters [ Heretics & Killers by Protest the Hero ]

FOR YOU:
Phoebe Cates by Fenix TX [ No Way Back - Foo Fighters ]

WHAT DOES NEXT YEAR HAVE IN STORE FOR
ME?
Territorial Pissings by Nirvana [ Loves Embrace by Christina Aguilera ]

WHAT DO I SAY WHEN LIFE GETS TOO HARD?
Come on Eileen by Save Ferris (HAAHAHAH!!!!!!!) [ The Science of Selling Yourself Short by Less Than Jake ]

WHAT SONG WILL I DANCE TO AT MY
WEDDING?
Gospel Hockey Love by Mitch Hedberg [ Have A Nice Day by Bon Jovi ]

WHAT DO YOU WANT AS A CAREER?
A Bleeding Heart by The Bleeders (ccb, emo job) [ Basketcase by Green Day ]

YOUR FAVOURITE SAYING:
My Hero by Foo Fighters [ DOA by Foo Fighters ]

HOW WILL I DIE?
Dopeman by Less Than Jake [ View From Heaven by Yellowcard ]

THE SONG THAT YOU'LL PUT AS YOUR
SUBJECT?
Brokenhearted by Mxpx [ Space Jam by Quad-City DJS ]

pretty hilarious results for both of us, hohoho.
oh, and the NOFX concert was awesome.

no way in hell are we dancing to Bon jovi.....coz its my life!

2007-04-07T10:14:00.000+08:00

Super Illegals has been nominated for some Motorola Stylemix Music Award....not sure how that works, but its cool.
we have 2 new songs in the works and we'll be playing 1 of them live soon. yellowcard has a violinist, well, we have a glockenspiel player, her name is weiwei. not sure if she's going to be in the permanant line-up yet, but it will be awesome.

everything else has pretty much gone to hell.

you are the strangest, most irrepressible kender i've ever met. sigh.

2007-03-31T14:30:00.000+08:00

ariel likes fairy tales. not just the endings. but the adventures always begin, lightheart.

she allows it, of course.

one comes along ever so often, but sometimes the scenes don't quite fit. the disenchantment.
not quite starry as it should have been. '96 stood out for bit: armour gleaming bright. a helm much, much greener a plume than ever before.

stupid melodramatics. i don't know the way to this bridge, the way to the way out. this is surely abnormal. or so i think.
finditfinditfinditfinditfinditfinditfinditfinditfinditfinditfinditfinditfidit.

The WAY to the WAY OUT!

'tonight i'm leaving going MIA. getting lost in you again is better than being numb'.

i can't relax
i can't hold back
i can't make sure
i can't let go
i can't say no
i can't make you mine
i can't fall behind
i can't make time
i can't refrain
i can't contain
i can't explain

whoa-oh-oh! whoa-oh-oh! whoa-oh-oh! whoa-oh-oh! whoa-oh-oh! whoa-oh-oh!

up in arms.

2007-03-18T19:27:00.000+08:00

i don't know what to make of this nightmare.

here it goes.

we rented a chalet and it had a very long hallway. she was very happy that we finally got a nice place to ourselves for the weekend. i led eileen through this passage way very quickly, her hand in mine, laughing away as we went. suddenly, we ended up in jalan parai burong's old residence, with the Ongs sitting around looking nonchalantly at us and they said nothing. i was so befuddled that i took her hand again and ran back to our so called chalet blindly, thinking that the whole extended apartment was pretty much very silly since it connected to my aunty's place that was so far away.

next thing i know, we were hailing a cab. i was trying to explain to eileen that we needed to get to the singapore science centre as quickly as possible. not really knowing why, we hopped on cab and we sped off to the jurong east direction, from whereever we were. i knew it was something exciting to look forward to....but i also had this tremendous sadness inside me, so i rested my head on the passenger seat window and looked out into the very strange foggy sky.

(i can't remember what happened when we got to our destination, neither do i recall what happened before we came out)

so we exited the science centre, which happened to look abit like my campus in jurong east. funnily, the science centre is directly opposite this said campus. i was holding eileen's when we stepped out from the main lobby. my grip tightened on eileen when i noticed the sky looking nothing like normal. its had vertical streams of thick, dark, grey smoke matting the entire sky. i was positive that it was only noon, but it felt like dinnertime. a very disturbing dinnertime. i turned around and said to eileen; 'now i know why my cough has been so fucking bad lately, look at this, what the hell'. as i was saying that, a tiny orange light caught my eye from the ground. i instinctively pulled up the top of my shirt and covered my nose and mouth. not letting go off eileen, i pulled her to the source of my new attention. it was a pinch ash and fire on the carpark grounds, like a smoker's flick of the trusty cigarette. but only this time, no smoker.

i was suddenly overwhelmed by this horror. i looked across the carpark grounds and found thousands of fire and ash all around me. then, a thunderous explosion, and a disfiugured boulder erupted from the ground next to the campus building like an angry fireball fist. it shot up into the thick cloudy air and landed near us. more and more explosions occured and i couldn't believe what i was seeing with my very own eyes. i put my arms around eileen and we ran for cover, back to the lobby in the building.

(there is poor continuity here, as i do not remember how we ended up on the top floor)

rushing past hallways and different classrooms, we made our way through the sudden burst of people, who like us were trying to get out of the building or simply trying to get a grip of what was happening outside. during all the screams and rapid movement, the blaring blasts of the compound outside was starting to get louder and louder with each time. eileen never said a word the whole time, not knowing whether it was fear or courage that gripped her nerves. either way, it made escape easier. i simply got her to follow my every move, without missing a beat. we ran down one of the spiralling stairways that had already taken in alot of smoke. i coughed hard and started to choke with watery eyes adding to the burden of the already not so helpful visiblity. i ignored fire in my lungs and the urge to vomit....and continued to push our way through the wall of ash and smoke. the ground began to rumble and walking proved difficult, if not for the railings, we would have very well been pinballs in a machines. upon reaching one of the stairway doors, it was to my utter disappointment that it was barricaded from the outside. i tried to jerk the door opened and also tried to ram it with my shoulder. nothing was working. without hesitating, i decided to try another door, but instead of going down another flight of steps, we took another level back up.

(i'm not sure why i did this, but it seemed pretty ridiculous to go back from where we came from.)

as we attempted to retreat up the darkened stairway, a silhouette, that looked like a plump granny with 60's glasses stood in our way. it was too smokey to see alot of her, except for her outline and that she stood upright and with eerie stillness.
we stopped dead in our tracks and i made a rapid U-turn without saying a word, eileen following. for once, i thought my zombie fantasy was about to come to life.

it was a relief that we managed to get back to the lobby, this time, filled with hundreds of people all dazed and confused. there was a group of nuns, dorning black and blue outfits, cursing and pointing enraged fingers at 5 bodies that were tied up, standing upright, against a wooden pole. all of the 5 were battered and bruised with blood, dirt and cuts all over themselved. i could not undestand why they were treated this way. but i was furious and i turned to the nuns and began yelling at them. i was trying to reason yet, blasting them for their form of punishment if it was indeed one at all. they were nuns, right? what was with the extreme hatred that was going on amidst the destruction of our island. assuming this volcanic phenomena was devastating other parts of singapore. i wanted to help those people and began chasing the nuns away.

the next thing i knew, a handle of Fathers approached me. thanking me and praising me for what i had just done. none of them were local. it was all very surreal to me. once again, eileen was silent all this time. i lost my concentration from the tortured bodies and asked one of the Fathers whether they were catholic. they pulled out their bibles and crosses and started to tell me who they were. but not what they were doing there. i asked one of them whether they could perform a ritual on me, to convert me. they happily agreed and started to touch my face and and they put a black jeweled headress on me. \
my next thing i knew, i was trying to tell myself that i needed to get eileen to safety and find the DYL guys to warn them or save them from this clamity if it hasn't already reached their corners of the island.

as if nothing had happened, i suddenly appeared in the new jalan pari burong, paul was sitting next to me, eileen no where to be found. he started to ask me what was wrong. my heart was still a locomotive and i still had this sadness in my heart. i couldn't say anything about what happened. the next thing i know is that i felt something on my head.

i removed a black jeweled headress from my head. the same one that was given to me by the Father. and it was rather pretty.

-end-

i had to write it down least i forget it. because coincidentally enough, i had another nightmare involving volcanic rocks, the size of buildings, hurling towards my bedok residence. i see them from my room window....coming towards me and landing on other buildings in my neighbourhood or on anything else as far as m eyes can see. everything is pummelled and destroyed. i do not get hit, i don't know why. maybe not yet, but i see death around me.

during this recent nightmare, i kept breaking in cold sweat, because of my responsibilties to keep eileen and myself safe from harm. the silhouette, the tortured victims, the exploding environment....i was scared. and everytime i hit a thresholod of fear, i wake up. but i kept waking up to the same horrors around me. it was as if i wasn't in a dream at all. the awake state affirmed that i was truly in it. and it occered a dozen times just now.

phew.

that's all.

2007-03-17T00:11:00.000+08:00

kjdfioushdfdsjfnhkdhss says:
no need to be WHAT.

kjdfioushdfdsjfnhkdhss says:
NOT LOGICAL? NOT TWO PERCENT NICE IS IT

kjdfioushdfdsjfnhkdhss says:
ARGHSLDFSKJNGSJGKVSNSKJFSDLKJGKJSDFHKFKJLSDKJFIASDJJNSDg

kjdfioushdfdsjfnhkdhss says:
juiosdujfijlzxyzyjtyurtyyuiyfsdid[ffj\

ben. says:
i love you, very much choi yik lam. goodnight.

kjdfioushdfdsjfnhkdhss leaves conversation

The following message could not be delivered:
i love you, very much choi yik lam. goodnight.

2007-03-08T02:13:00.000+08:00

the earthquake, the garuda flight, philander and khai both losing their dads in the morning...

edison says that the earth will not go out in a bang, but a whimper.

everyone should just shut the fuck up about their petty worlds and start living.
like what the fuck, seriously.

2007-02-24T02:50:00.000+08:00

does anyone know who came up with the 'boil coca cola and drink it' tremedy?
who the hell invents these things? cuz i did it, but i don't think it was the thing that stopped my problem. maybe post-nasal just went postal.

glad i got alot of work cleared before the weekend. too many clients, not enough technology. i wish it would all come crashing down. an expensive lesson, but an imperative one. couple of things that made my day where the discovery of more zombie culture in the store. why didn't i think of that? Zombie War/Walking Dead series. Goldmines, i tell you.

lovers were never meant to be in bands. how does one play the drums with a torn soul or sing with tears in her eyes?
for show maybe, but really nothing more. i'm lucky to be play the drums and glad that i'm not a drummer. there is a big difference between a talented musician and a fireball of passion. -shrugs- who knows, i look at things simply now...or simply more so than before.

to all my friends around the world(you know who you are!) : i just wanna say that i thought of you at least once. so take care and god bless. come back soon, if you come back at all. i'm sure you're thinking about me too. it's just a matter of time. yes, its still warm here and the rojak's good. random, i know.

ariel wants me to slow things down and i think its a wise idea to do it. she's pretty smart. so you try retracing your steps before making a step almost every part of your day, you'll start to appreciate the lighter things in life. you start sms-ing friends to tell them how you really feel about them. even if its just an equal sign with a close bracket. if you're reading this, take 8 seconds to sms a random friend and say 'HI -insert name- THIS IS NOT A MASS MSG, I REALLY WAS THINKING ABOUT YOU. NO, I'M NOT CRAZY, I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU WERE IN MY THOUGHTS TODAY AND THAT I MAY NOT DO THIS AGAIN, SO HERE'S ME. :)'

see what they reply in turn.

been catching up on the boyfriend manual. i think its starting to seep in slowly. its funny how i could forget the styles and makings of 1996.

and it's funny, i'm not the least excited about tomorrow.

2007-02-20T19:42:00.000+08:00

when my time comes, please feel free to wear anything you like.
today's funeral fashion just doesn't cut it. i mean, if we're already down there, might as well live it. coz i must have since all of you are here(i hope).

instead celebrate the times we have lived then mourn the sorrows that already left us so long ago. death is but another journey.

man, i hate this cough.

2007-02-10T07:21:00.000+08:00

its times like these you will always remember.
its times like these you will find shelter.
its times like these you will never fear.
its times like these you will hold dear.

i want you, and all of you to understand how important this has been to me, really.

as dave says;

"I am a new day rising
I’m a brand new sky
To hang the stars upon tonight
I am a little divided
Do I stay or run away
And leave it all behind? "

- ff.

2007-02-04T17:16:00.000+08:00

feeling better today. at last. one week of fever and a litre of phelgm a day does not rock. i'm sorry i lost my voice today, but ariel would understand. i always have a ball with the team when we do stuff. the new gaming season seems to have taken over sheesha of late. guns, glory and the occasional suicidal vehicle drop...it seems like whenever vivian and i are locked and loaded, the next series of events lead to jumping off a bridge too far. sadly, but its god damn hilarious. its a good thing lin is good at the game and khai is improving as the weekends go by.

i die tragically most of the time, the occasional missle in the face from the capman, lokster's ninja-sniping skillzzz or roadkill courtesy of the arab. not to mention ah-beng''s constant : 'YOU LIKE THAT BIATCCHHHHHHH!??!!?'. damn i hate sitting next to him.

it would be slightly more balanced if we had joel and mudz on 'team regardless of race, language or religion'.
juan and hambril can join the rest.

let's see.

ben roslan
vivian fairoz
lin Vs syed
khai juan
joel hambril
mudz edison
lokman

let's the games begin! local gaming lives! (no lah, siao.)

2007-02-02T15:16:00.000+08:00

back home, at last. doc could tell me that i had a nasal problem again. the post nasal dripping is a real nuinsance. hey, vivian, looks like you'll get to see me irrigate my nasal passages real soon if this shit persist. eileen is over today, she's not feeling well too but she's being such a dear, giving me random hugs and patting me to sleep.

we have the same symptoms too. no, she did not give it to me, contrary to belief. (you got that ian!)

i'm reading wikipedia while she's doing her sociology assignments. i learned more about The Holocaust, Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X and Vikings this week. Not to mention Spartans. I really hope lokman enjoys Sparta, the band. afterall, he has a cool badge to back it up, thanks to yours truly.

300. if anyone doubts the awesomeness of this show, please see me. i'll go medieval on your ass.

i pray i'll be ready for tomorrow's show. got to get my shit together.

'its better to regret something you have done, than to regret not doing it' - tre cool.

2007-01-28T19:39:00.000+08:00

i'm back. am i back? mic check, 1. .2 .2 i mean 3.

CAN ANYONE HEAR ME!??!??!

2006-05-24T22:39:00.000+08:00

cureless.

there is a difference between a doing what's right and following your heart. i have always believed in the latter. because your heart can never be wrong, only truly misguided.

marykate knocked some sense into my head. we're like our country, we have the ultimate, sugarfied myriad. 'IDEALISTIC' are footprints in this playground that prays. but fucking up is another form of art. because passion is outstanding. the energy into music & friendship. passion is super greatness. paid dues ladies and gentlemen. harness it? nah. its pain to see another door-mat biting the dust.

fucking disappointing, it makes me laugh sadly.

but still, fuck you.

2006-05-19T01:49:00.000+08:00

eat.
she whispered, 'i'll read you a chapter from my book'
pray.
she declared, 'i'll be waiting till the day comes when you finally let everything go'
love.
she promised, 'i love you, and will always be here with you, for you'

- i, marykate

2006-05-14T23:09:00.000+08:00

the blueprint to a bitch.

i still question the question, and it still amazes me, how everything has turned out so far. to this point. you think about the places you've been and the people that you've met. did it work out? could it? what if it turned out otherwise. not alot right now makes sense to me and it won't sit patiently. you hear them, out in the open, in your living room. are you sure about life, in that room? very frequently its not quite paradise. 'you are everything, that is your only greatest enemy.' at least that's what ariel said. or perhaps she stole it from a movie.

i believe in movies. and how all villains have that inevitable date with death, in all its untidiness. but in films, it is imperative to showcase why the villain has earned his sadistic demise. the villain must disgust and lose all respect from the audience in order to create the ultimate rationale. the dead finale. her fantastic death. these emotions move the soul, puts the 'change' in 'changes'. it alters the ego. you know what i'm talking about.

i question revenge, i question becoming what i hate. i question how you were brought up and what you had for breakfast. and who you had breakfast with. i question your audacity and your ability to underestimate. i question this perfect circle and i question those i trust. i question what you have lost and what you are still losing. i question your deepest fears , your darkest secrets...and of course your outter demon. i question mine. i question your happiness.

i question whether you think i will let a matter like this, rest.

2006-04-30T00:20:00.000+08:00

(from the depths of my textbooks. this is for everyone.) - ben.

forgiveness.

forgiveness has been defined as the willful giving up of resentment in the face of another's (or others') considerable injustice and responding with beneficence to the offender even though that offender has no right to the forgiver's moral goodness. forgiveness is an act freely chosen by the forgiver.

forgiveness is distinguished from condoning and excusing, reconciling, and forgetting. when someone condones or excuses, he or she realizes that there was no unfairness. if, for example, A takes B's car to drive an injured child to the hospital, B on realizing what had happened, would not forgive A, but excuse A under the circumstances. reconciliation involves two people coming together in mutual trust, whereas forgiveness is one person's choice to abandon resentment and offer beneficience in the face of unfairness. one can forgive without reconciling. when one forgivesm he or she rarely forgets the event. people tend to recall traumatic events, but on forgiving, a person may remember in new ways - not continuing to harbour the deeply held anger.

the essence of forgiveness is in the decision to forgive, along with the proclamation 'i forgive you'. as the person decides to forgive and so proclaims, several important things happen. first, the forgiver has crossed an important line, so to speak. he or she has moved from a position of resentment to one of not letting the resentment dominate the interaction. although the one who forgives may still still feel resentful, the person chooses not to let it be a controlling factor.

second, the decision and proclamation show that the forgiver is consciously aware of his or her new position. the forgiver, in other words, is not abandoning resentment because of taking some memory-loss pill or simply letting time run its course. instead, the decision is a defining moment regarding who the forgive is ('i am the one who forgives'), and who the forgiven is ('he/she is worthy of respect'), and what their relationship may be like as a result of this decision embedded within it.

forgiveness develops from resentment and anger, through the decision, to the struggles to love and feel compasison toward a person who is difficult to love. this process can take time and effort. from this perspective, a decision by itself leaves one with only half a story to tell and therefore cannot qualify as forgiveness per se, although it is a vital part of that story.

- thomas w. baskin & robert d. enright, intervention studies on forgiveness: a meta-analysis, journal of counseling & development, winter 2004, volume 82.

2006-04-18T00:38:00.000+08:00

'we're the margarine of evule. '

lovers or not, we put service exellence wannabes to shame.
the store will miss your smile, your laughs, and more importantly, your kindness in friendship.

thank you for being so supportive since the year began.

2006-04-06T20:31:00.000+08:00

To the faithful departed, Borders.

alex
amy
anne
arshad
chloe
colin
emily
eshiqa
ezan
faizal
fernando
gary
hafiz
ismail
ivan
jay
jiawen
joyce lim
karen wee
kok koon
leonard
libing
lovene
luqman
munira
nicole
peizhen
philander
ramlah
raja
ronald
salihin
samantha
samantha again
siti
sophie
suhanna
sunren
terry
valerie
wenting

no matter how much we said, we learned.
thank you for the times and good luck, wherever you are.

- benjamin

2006-03-26T22:35:00.000+08:00

because you sayangface.

entry for the egg hearted!
im on my own, here we go!
like strawberry parachutes!
eject! eject! screams the wingman!
eject! eject! blares the radio!
now a tidal fold!
can anybody here me! mayday mayday!
hong kong to furball! hongkong to furball! say heyyyyyohhh!
ohhhhh yeaaahhhh!
i said heyyyyyooohh!
you fools! where are you!
i don't know captain! we're about to be...*signal lost*
keep trying!
love, send my love to ariel.
ah
men.

- Dar.

2006-03-26T19:21:00.000+08:00

do you have the time, to listen to me whine?

i have been listening to Green Day for the past 12 years. i have come to realize that they were never really my idols, or rock heroes for that matter. phenomenal at what they have accomplished and gone through, they were never the greatest musicians and much less my favourite band.

they are however, my favourite teachers.

i was about to go all kung-fucius about the punkrock wizadry of the most remarkable band on the planet(but damn this headache.) instead, here are some rare facts about three berkeley punks who have come a long long way, teaching me most of what i know about music & life. so enjoy.

[1] On Playstation 2's 'Tony Hawk's American Wasteland' Billie Joe Armstrong is an unlockable character.

[2] Tre Cool is the godfather of Billie Joe's kids.

[3] Billie Joe never wanted to sing in a band, he just wanted to play guitar. But Mike told him he had no other choice.

[4] Mike puts his arm around Tre in three of their videos- When I Come Around, Blvd of Broken Dreams, and Holiday (four if you count the half hug at the end of Nice Guys Finish Last).
[5] Their first gig was played north of Berekley in front of a crowd of five teenagers and there was no electricity, so kerosene lamps were used.

[6] Billie Joe confesses to playing air guitar in front of his bedroom mirror.

[7] Green Day has 14 transitional songs. They are Chump/Longview, Brain Stew/Jaded, Uptight/Last Ride In, and Jinx/Haushinka, Holiday/Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Are We the Waiting/St. Jimmy, and Give Me Novacaine/She's a Rebel.

[8] A kid was once in a coma and he loved Green Day. They played the band's music at his bedside and he snapped out of it, then the trio came to visit him.

[9] Mike gave himself the name 'Mike Dirnt' because when he was in high school, he would play air bass at school every day and play 'dirnt dirnt dirnt' sounds, so it later became his nickname.

[10] The video for Basketcase was filmed in black and white, they added color afterwards.

[11] The guitar chords to the Blink182 song "What's my Age Again" are exactly the same as "When I Come Around".

[12] If you take the chords and rhythm from The Ramone's Blitzkrieg Bop intro, keep the rhythm, but play the chords backwards, it's the Green Day "Welcome to Paradise" intro.

[13] New copies of Dookie are made without Ernie on the back. That's because Sesame Street threatened to sue Green Day.

[14] On the front cover of the Insomniac album, in the flames, there are hidden pictures. You can find a naked woman, 3 faeries, a skull, and several other ghosly faces.

[15] In the music video of "When I Come Around", midway through the video you can see present 2nd guitarist Jason White (in the kissing scene) with a girlfriend of his at the time.

[16] Billie Joe Armstrong uses 'Jhirmack Styling Spritz' to get his hair good and crunchy.

[17] In the movie "10 Things I Hate About You", Julia Stiles is buying an album. The album is Green day's Insomniac.

[18] Before Rivers Cuomo, from Weezer, actually knew how to write a song, he studied the songwriting techniques of Kurt Cobain and Green Day. Weezer would probably be nowhere without Green Day.

[19] There are 15 new songs in the works. Post-American Idiot album. \m/

[20] I will watch them live. Whatever it takes.

"Attack your instruments. Don't let them attack you."
- billie joe armstrong, greenday

2006-03-19T01:06:00.000+08:00

open water. not fire.

they lie here. they lie here scattered on the trying bedroom floor, screaming the tale of lovers & liars and the triumph of ariel wylduer. she was free, she was magnificient and free to decide. they say that there are no such things as simple spiderwebs. the sand in your palm was seeping dearly but you never did see it clearly. now you will feel the things that i'll never say because all you can ever learn is what you already know. i was desparate silly and you were young...and so very far away. this was supposed to be the magic of a 30 second song, you see. but your lack of initiative breeds, you. it's funny because emotion is my middlename and you have been injected into my losing streak. twist. twist. no rest for the wicked my 'friend'. i've tried many a hot rod circuit and ninja outposts to no avail. hello nurse. you're on standby tonight.

alas you hot thing, alas you madman.

who will eat mosquitos for your smile. who will brunt cockroaches and run amok. who will be the punching bag, the flirt maestro. who will be there for her. who will be her rainbow.
the sonicbooms were meant for our thunder skies of tomorrow. because you were turning japanese, not ariel, not ariel wylduer. you got to play so many of your fucking songs and ariel was pretty anal about most things, but that's besides the point. the unsuspecting victim comes and goes, so everyone knows. she told her that she doesn't know her and that she's got the touch. how strange. you mean meaning silence has gone out the window. you've always had one he said, so stop go, stop go, stop go, stop go, stop go, stop go, stop go. with that, with every passing moment, so let it happen. so let's dance! let's dance! let's bleed! let's bleed! your black heart, your black angel.

you do not belong. because this is the first day of the rest of my life and i'm playing in loud.

if you kissed me, you'd know.

2006-03-14T01:40:00.000+08:00

you're oukate. i'm oukate.

oi roses are red,
oi violets are blue,
hey part time bookseller,
customer service loves you.

2006-03-06T21:25:00.000+08:00

"we're not perfect, but neither are we dysfunctional."

What do you see here? Do you see the profiles of two heads or a vase?

Notice how the image fluctuates between the two possibilities even though the image on your retina remains constant. It is difficult to perceive both meaningful images simultaneously. The Rubin vase/profile illusion is an ambiguous figure/ground illusion. This is because it can be perceived either as two black faces looking at each other, in front of a white background, or as a white vase on a black background.

In the case of a figure/ground reversal one line can have two shapes. The shape of the contour formed depends on which side of the line is regarded as part of the figure. This is important, because the visual system represents or encodes objects primarily in terms of their contours. Also, elements that are close to one another or alike or homogeneous in certain respects tend to be grouped together. This is called grouping. The sudden reversal that you perceive may be due to your shift of attention on the shape of the contour. The observer's "perceptual set" and individual interests can also bias the situation. Biasing the shapes or contours can make one interpretation stronger than the other one. As one can see in the three-dimensional model of the vase, which biases the vase.

There is no doubt that this particular illusion occurs involves higher cortical processing. This is because you have stored information in your brain that contains knowledge about vases and profiles. Your brain needs to be able to interpret the patterns in your eye in terms of external objects. To do this your visual system needs to be able to distinguish objects (figure) from their background (ground). Most of the time this is relatively easy, but sometimes, as in the case of camouflage, it can be made much more difficult.

The vase/profile illusion is important because it shows that perception is not solely determined by an image formed on the retina. The spontaneous reversal that you observe illustrates the dynamic nature of subtle perceptual processes. These processes underscore how your brain organizes its visual environment.

And look, if you have somehow managed to keep your attention span in check and read till this point of my entry, congratulations. Because the only point here is just two lovely people about to kiss the hell outta each other.

you got that right.

source: illusionworkcc.

2006-02-26T19:39:00.000+08:00

2006-02-19T20:56:00.000+08:00

ou'kate.

what little sounds this heart makes

for thunderous evolution in our skies

touch of a snowflake.

what little sounds this heart makes

for explosion amongst our stars

smiles of cornflakes.

what little sounds this heart makes

for eruption upon our heavens

she said shitcakes.

what little sounds this heart makes

for one and all under these eyes.

for one and all after your breath.

for one and all under these lies.

for one and all after your death.

of what little sounds this heart will create.

2006-02-15T00:38:00.000+08:00

joushang!

good morning sayang. got up just to read this, yes?
you're in luck then.

i was about to tell everybody how my macaroni & cheese didn't suck.
i almost blurted out the unpresidented cramped jaw incident.
i was gonna talk about the new pair of technologified drumsticks you bought me.
i recall still liking the librarian hottie thing and have always been a leg-man.
i wanted to write about meeting the paranoid parents. okay, parent.
i felt like unraveling the whole 'wtf is rhodium' thing to an audience.
i was thinking about colleagues who were hitting on you and how it amused me.
i love the foo fighters. because dave grohl did not throw in the towel.
i was eager to make you wear trucker caps because you look kickass in them.
i smile to myself when i think sunny reservoir walks.
i smile to myself when i think slow bedroom dancing.
i got to thinking that trailer watching is fun, super.
i swear you look funny exploring my space, home.
i think you look great in dyl cloth.

the recipe for that you say?
- a spoonful of honour
- a slice of common sense
- a pinch of mental freedom
- a dash of cancerian sincerity

serves 2. only.

i realized my sonovabitchcough stopped. fukyeababy.

dar, in 9hrs.

2006-02-14T01:33:00.000+08:00

'Dat Rosa Mel Apibus'

Rhodium (Greek rhodon meaning "rose") was discovered in 1803 by William Hyde Wollaston in England, soon after his discovery of palladium. Rhodium is a chemical element in the periodic table that has the symbol Rh and atomic number 45. A rare silvery-white hard transition metal, rhodium is a member of the platinum group, is found in platinum ores and is used in alloys with platinum and as a catalyst.

Rhodium, together with iridium and platinum form a group of elements referred to as the platinum group metals (PGM). Rhodium has a higher melting point and lower density than platinum. It has a high reflectance and is hard and durable. Upon heating it turns to the oxide when red and at higher temperatures turns back to the element. Flammable. Dust explosion possible if in powder or granular form, mixed with air. Reacts with oxygen difluoride causing fire hazard.

It is the rarest of all non-radioactive metals on Earth. The annual world production of this element is only about 20 tons and there are very few rhodium minerals. As of 2006, rhodium cost approximately six times as much as gold, by weight. The Rhodium chemical floral pattern is usually found with the motto 'Dat Rosa Mel Apibus' (The rose gives the bees honey) and was used by 17th century Rosicrucians.

The Rosicrucian Order is a legendary and secretive Order dating from the 15th or 17th century. It generally is associated with the symbol of the Rose Cross, which is also found in certain rituals beyond "Craft" or "Blue Lodge" Freemasonry. The Rosicrucian Order is viewed among earlier and many modern Rosicrucianists as an inner worlds Order, comprised of great "Adepts." When compared to human beings, the consciousness of these Adepts is said to be like that of demi-gods. This "College of Invisibles" is regarded as the source permanently behind the development of the Rosicrucian movement.The Rosicrucian greeting is, "May the Roses bloom upon your Cross."

Happy Valentine's Day Marykate. I hope you like it.
xoxoxo

Sources:- Wikipedia.com- Lenntech.com- Chemsoc.org

2006-02-10T07:05:00.000+08:00

throw illusion throw illusion throw throw illusion bazooka kiss.

everyday is like trying to jump onto a bullet train blindfolded. the only thing i know for sure, is that i know the train comes on time, everytime. and there's always a seat. always a gentle reminder when i need to get off. it takes me where i want, need to go. it gives me time to exit, it gives me time to board. it has everything onboard to reassure me of our next destination.

and best of all, we're always on the same track.

'my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.' -dc.

2006-02-09T23:19:00.000+08:00

the brotherhood. the balance. the bathos. the bravura.

brotherhood: a brother makes a tough decision for the sake of his kinsman, and to save his soul. music protect his heart, please.

balance: the scale has reached its tipping point. into reverse things will flow. this kindred has turned. the fierce shines meaninglessly. but i smile, pleased.

bathos: patient. prozac. pathetic. poseur. probably psycho. puh-lease.

bravura: you make me, me. so please.

i respect.
i rebel.
i loathe.
i love.

go figure.

emo cannot stay.
punkrock will find a way.
metal is...well, hard.

2006-02-04T00:39:00.000+08:00

when she.

when she has her head on your shoulder.
when she has hair that smells like queen's shampoo.
when she touches your hair, its okay.
when she has your hand in hers, they look alright.
when she helps you sleep better at night.
when she surprises you with your favourite cookies.
when she sits happily with you, in the blazing sun.
when she gently pats your chronic cough down.

when she says hello, you smile yourself to death.
when she affectionately touches your left earlobe.
when she diligently replies all your messages on time.
when she relentlessly shares her food with you.

when she attempts to touch an imaginary glass panel, with you.

when she has the uncanny ability of waking up mega-early.

when she picks dates with you, the numbers are mutual.
when she searches for your medication at the pharmacist.
when she has an ipod that looks good together with yours.

when she announces that this emo thing is no longer good for me.

when she hides and uses your body as a human shield against butterflies.
when she allows you to fall asleep hard on the phone.

when she often fails to change the subject of awkward situations.
when she miraculously keeps up with your appetite.

when she finds herself in kinokuniya with you, to attack the pride of the store.

when she was introduced as the girlfriend to an mtv representative.

when she gives hearty encouragement via chin-ups and olas.

when she likes creed/nickleback but you cringe at the bands.

when she let fly her whipping backhand to the tummy attack move.
when she knows you are scared shitless of cockroaches.

when she happens to be born in july, together with the cancerian nation.
when she spends money she does not have on food for you.

when she knows just what to say to make you feel all better.

when she generously offers you h20 when you know you need it.
when she likes the way you sing. even when you cannot.
when she loves the zoolife.

when she.

2006-02-01T00:02:00.000+08:00

the proximity effect

what is your favourite sweet.

skittles. the sour ones.

i like fruit tips. the original flavour.

-pause-

(30secs)

oh. you mean the surviving one.

i can't believe the highlighted parts of my hair is golden instead of blonde.

-pause-

ben.

-pause-

what is golden.

the sun is golden.

no what. supposed to be yellow. its yellow surrounding the orange.

no. its supposed to be golden. and when the golden ray touches you, you turn to gold.

-pause-

yah.

i'm hungry. i want to eat pizza.

i wish i could too.

why not go make one now.

its a very tempting thought.

but i'm too lazy lah.

-paused-

if it was me. i would'nt want to wake her up too.

ben.

yah.

who's the HER.

2006-01-23T00:11:00.000+08:00

it's hard to breathe.
i wish you love. =)

take care guys.

2006-01-21T22:59:00.000+08:00

i wasn't writing about you.
i have moved on.
the post was simply what it was.
please don't make me elaborate.

2006-01-20T22:17:00.000+08:00

this is ben and i had nothing better else to do this friday evening so this is it the post you have been waiting for - friday fight fingers

in the light of so many new bands being churned out(or discovered) internationally in recent months, it funny how small things like trendy song titles can make or break a fan (much less the song). so thanks to bands like falloutboy (yes yes...calm down girls...), panic! at the disco and my chemical romance, we now have long-ass song titles that....that...well pretty much don't say anything much about the song. they are fancy, they are catchy and pretty much a mouthful most of the time.

hence i have decided to jump on the band wagon and create some awesomecool ones of my own. with the help of some friends. and of course, the bands don't exist. yet.

Okgo.

you're hot. you're dumb. but you're dumb
- the wonka tribute
my brother thinks he's a ninja but i just want to be left alone with my pink socks
- the backwards chairs (credit to my fellow lefty, nikola)
lefthanders kick ass you should be jealous and try to imitate us or suffer a fate worse than death
- righthanded leftwing lefthanders (credit to my fellow lefty, nikola)
we love to make noises your mother would find moderately funny
- our hands make those bish bang sounds (credit to my fellow lefty, nikola)
do you really think we would introduce this song title when we're playing it live infront of you morons
- september keypad madness
she loves me she loves me not in this lifetime sucka
- the prime piemakers
love letters written during the war but postman sam fucked up the postal
- the wax on wax ons
i'm a suicide bomber but you already blew up my emo heart
- the jihad my heart (credit to my arab friend, syed)
papparazzis purposely ate my plain pineapple pepperonis
- the broken considerates
and i know i'm not the only one who cooks maggi mee at 3 in the morning by
- sonic the night
firstly i would like to thank god the almighty & everyone who voted for the other guy
- the sushi damage
why does the panicatthedisco guy sound like the falloutboy guy
- falling boys! at the disco (band name, credits : nikola)
oh look i am so scene that the others don't know i go back home looking so not scene
- the go fuck yourselves
remember the day when karma comes back to finish you off
- sincerely me factor
you know i am your destiny so come on feel my density
- deaf colour maximum
it is partly nikola's fault that i started this blog post so blame her if you must
- alokin is never wong
oh kawaii siao char bor will always be our favourite canto song
- kaninas future kaninas
you, me and prata cheese with egg
- aliens with pretty faeces
dearest ariel, will you marry me? haha just kidding
- sierra echo xray
i sleep around so the only excuse i have for not picking up my boyfriend's call is that my handphone has no more battery
- 69 miss calls

ta-dahh.

"bite my lip and close my eyes
take me away to paradise
i'm so damn bored i'm going blind
and I smell like shit"

- g.d.

2006-01-19T23:14:00.000+08:00

i somehow pulled a raistlin at the start of 2006. its back. i don't know how, i don't know why.

i keep handy.
codeline phosphate 9.0mg
promethazine hci b.p 3.6mg
ephedrine 6.0mg
bromhexine 8.0mg
theophylline anhyd 250mg

weezer. chest hurts most of the time. its like that balance theory. situations can't be picture perfect, so i guess with narcolepsy thrown out of the window, chronic strikes back. how delightful. no, of course not. dampens my spirit most of the time. have begun the woods paranoia...so who am i kidding. that shit should stop. but its a placebo. but it can't be a placebo if i already know.

[ ruth has left the country. sameer has left the country. trina has left the country. penprapa has left the country. that leaves roxanne, sabbie, chloe, charlene, sabbx and wynn.
i would sincerely prefer it if you guys did not go too. it sincerely sucks. it's sincerely selfish of me too. ]

be kind to waiters. (your children will probably serve too, at one point in their lives)
and don't be stupid. would you really mess with someone who prepares your meal? that's right. i thought so.

be kind to your maids. (they are people too)
there's a reason why they are in your home. working. away. from home.

be kind to the aunty who maintains the toilets. (that is somebody's grandparent you're taking for granted) she's probably 80. cleans up after your business and shares WW2 wisdom with you. be extra nice.

be kind to flyer distributors. (do you really think he wants to give out 3000 pieces of paper all day?) so just take that damn flyer. dispose of it when you see the next bin. because he's a step closer to going home. and we all know what that feels like.

be kind to the person next to you. because you never know.

you never know.

2006-01-16T00:21:00.000+08:00

funeral for a friend.

it was awkward at the table. we all knew each other, yet we didn't...but we were all there for the same purpose. present were sleeve, the subway stars, samanta, pale pretense, the leaven trait, playform and doubleyellowline.

i stood at the coffin for awhile. i stared at you and i remembered saying, 'dude, evelyn and syed can't make it, but they would like to pay their respects to you. so do the rest who might not be able to come today. i know you'll understand.'

i could see the pain in your guitarist's eyes. and if you weren't listening. he said that before he joined sleeve he was nothing. he came to believe in you eventhough you were the quiet sort. and he always, always followed you in sound no matter what. because you were ever so consistant when you drummed. because he felt he could only trust you when you guys played. and he regretted postponing that jam session on thursday...or he could have seen you for one last time. he misses you. your band misses you. and your parents smiled alittle when we explained who were...and the impression you left behind. they were...surprised.

thank you for always being so cool with the bands....and for trusting us with your beloved studio.

it felt strange to see you lying in there. we just spoke and shook hands a week ago, you know?
and remember how roslan said you kinda looked like jesus? further doesn't seem forever my friend. rest in peace.

see you on friday.

2006-01-07T23:20:00.000+08:00

Parting shots 2005 / 2006.

The Leaven Trait, New Year's Eve.

2006-01-07T23:16:00.000+08:00

Going berserk @ Temasek Junior College.

2006-01-07T23:15:00.000+08:00

Doubleyellowline. New Year's Day. 559am.

2006-01-07T23:14:00.000+08:00

Bassmeister Joel, Esplanade Bayside Countdown 2006.

2006-01-07T23:12:00.001+08:00

Hambril, Roslan, Esplanade Bayside Countdown 2006

2006-01-07T23:12:00.000+08:00

Ben, Esplanade Bayside Countdown 2006.

2006-01-07T23:10:00.000+08:00

Team Doubleyellowline takes a breather.

2006-01-07T23:06:00.001+08:00

After the Christmas show @ Tampines Central.

2006-01-07T23:06:00.000+08:00

Santa goes Punk.

2006-01-06T08:24:00.000+08:00

The Leaven Trait plays at 600pm !

--Start of Event--
14:00-14:40: Set For Glory
14:40-15:20: Hamartia
15:20-16:00: Dyna Turmoil
16:00-16:40: Sally's Rejex
16:40-17:20: Samanta
17:20-18:00: The Subway Stars
18:00-18:40: The Leaven Trait
18:40-19:20: Surreal
19:20-20:00: Ugly In The Morning
20:00-20:40: The Pinholes
20:40-21:20: Sleeve
21:20-22:00: Documentary In Amber

2006-01-01T20:38:00.000+08:00

explosions in the sky

i stood side by side with my brothers in a muddy field by the bay last night, together with the sisters who made it sacred. before the skyline illuminated with hope, i took deepest breathe and sent my last sms of 2005. i never thought i would.

i remained transfixed to the sky that was telling me a tale, an all too familiar story of what's in stored for me in days, weeks, months to come.

quietly stuck in muddy grass, we carried on looking up into the sparkled-pounded sky. sonicbooms of light and thunderous cheers from the thousands around us could not overwhelm the silent hope we shared for that precious minutes. i stole occasional glances at my companions. though they did not notice, i felt the bittersweet. i sensed the gladness. i shared the symphony and i found, hope.

silently hoping for my friends who were with me that night.
silently hoping for all the rojak women who entered my life in the past year.
silently hoping for myself.

for better days ahead...for all.

i can finally put my head down to rest.

2005-12-29T21:10:00.000+08:00

Because we can.

Goodbye 2005. Hello 2006.

A huge thank you for sticking by! For the kind folks who turned up at the Tampines Giving Tree gig, as well as the Prince of Wale Stasis Preview show, we salute you! Your attendance was flattering. \m/ As we approach the end of a significantly dwarfed and shameless year, we would like to bid farewell to 2005 with the loudest shows possible! Punkrock for the young, the old and sometimes the self-destructive.

Upcoming gigs!

Gig #1

MOSH 2006
30th December 2005
Friday 700pm
The Third Place ----> click HERE for directions
Bands!: The Leaven Trait, Unused Valentine, Caracal, Fell From Grace, Crossbred, Spanish Fly, A Vacant Affair, Kio Sai, No Direction, The Vinyl Summer, Ephyra.

Gig #2

Boon Lay Gardens Countdown 2006
31st December 2005
Saturday 800pm
Boon Lay Gardens, opposite the Boon Lay Community Centre. ( Lakeside MRT)
Bands!: The Leaven Trait and LGF.

Gig #3

Marina Bay Countdown 2006
31st December 2005
Saturday 1000pm
Raffles Avenue, right next to Esplanade. (In front of Oriental Hotel)
Bands!: The Leaven Trait ( plus alot of FIREWORKS!)

Upcoming shows!

Stasis 8 - 2006

Official Bandsite - www.leaventrait.net
MySpace - www.myspace.com/theleaventrait
Purevolume - www.purevolume.com/theleaventrait

Thank you for being our friends, our critics, our supper kakis and mostly, part of our music experience. Your support means everything. See you at the shows!

With punkrock goodness and much love,

The Leaven Trait
Hambril.Joel.Roslan.Ben

2005-12-25T08:45:00.000+08:00

horror-scope.

i found this somewhere.

the cancerian - your 2005.

"you're ready, they're not. ask yourself -- are they worth the wait? answer honestly.

people laugh when you say you feel like you're in a rut, but you know that it's true. something has been going on for far too long, and you're feeling the dulling effects of too much routine. fortunately, you're a master of transformation. it's just a question of pinpointing what area of your life needs revamping -- is it your friends, love life or business that could do with a change of pace? no need to worry; you'll figure it out sooner or later."

"i would wish upon a star, but that star, it doesn't shine." - b182.

i'm made of an oxymoronic-simplicity.

2005-12-24T01:42:00.000+08:00

salud.

sometimes, you just have to put a song on repeat...finding strength.
sometimes that's all you've got. just when you thought.
just when.
sometimes.

2005-12-20T23:05:00.000+08:00

once upon the end.

i enjoyed the cake. i liked the box. i loved the note.

"go around sun
get your head on
go get her
you're watching her walk away
go around sun
run along
the stereos on
they're playing your song..."

- hey mercedes.

2005-12-17T03:56:00.000+08:00

my life: a different shade of green.

for being left behind.
nice guys finish last
you're running out of gas
your sympathy will get you left behind
sometimes you're at your best, when you feel the worst
do you feel washed up, like piss going down the drain...'
- nice guys finish last

for the girl who started it all.
'open the past and present.
now and we are there.
story to tell and i am listening.
open the past and present.
and the future too.
it's all i've got and i'm giving it up to you...'
- scattered

for all the psychos in my life.
'is she ultra-violent?
is she disturbed?
i better tell her that i love her
before she does it all over again
oh god, she's killing me.'
- pulling teeth

for my insomnia/narcolepsy.
'i'm having trouble trying to sleep
i'm counting sheep but running out
as time ticks by
and still i try
no rest for crosstops in my mind
on my own... here we go.'
- brain stew

for all the late nights.
'do you have the time
to listen to me whine
about nothing and everything all at once
i am one of those
melodramatic fools
neurotic to the bone
no doubt about it...'
- basketcase

for my frustration.
'i'm not part of your elite
i'm just alright
class structure waving colors
bleeding from my throat
not subserviant to you i'm just alright
down classed by the powers that be
give me loss of hope...'
- stuck with me

for the cute girl at the literature section.
'hey there lookin' at me
tell me what do you see
but you quickly turn your head away
try to find the words i could use
don't have the courage to come up to you
my chance is looking a bit grey...'
- at the libray

for my gay tendencies.
'king for a day, princess by dawn.
king for a day in a leather thong.
king for a day, princess by dawn.
just wait 'til all the guys get a load of me.'
- king for a day

for all the testing times.
'another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
so make the best of this test, and don't ask why
it's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
it's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
i hope you had the time of your life...
- good riddance (time of your life)

for my friends.
'rushings of my depression
sacrifice everything
waste with me into nothing
well now you're stuck with me
stuck with me
stuck with me...'
- do da da

for you.
'and in the darkest night
if my memory serves me right
i'll never turn back time
forgetting you, but not the time...'
- whatsername

for me.
'i have no belief
but i believe
i'm a walking contradiction
and i ain't got no right...'
- walking contradiction

2005-12-14T22:53:00.000+08:00

cobain & timberlake.

0800hrs - 0900hrs : the store is in preparation mode. shelves are straightened, books are arranged, from floor stacks to multiple displays. recovery of the misplaced commences and administration work is carried out. miscellaneous merchandise are all strategically position to sellsellsell. but nothing goes without music.

i sneaked nirvana's newest, 'sliver:bestofthebox' into the front of store cd player. it wasn't that good(sorry kurt), but the live version of 'floyd the barber' was bliss. everything else were as bad as early TLT demos.

i got tired of the band and decided it was time to let another letter 'N' band take over. enter : nsync. not just any nsync, it was the nsync:greatest hits album. booyaa. i'm not even a closet fan. you guys know i love them. i pretty much admire people who can dance, well. that's about everyone i know. bsb and westlife can suck ass. really. balls to boyzone too. come on people! i dare you to disagree! (and hide the fact that i enjoy nsync anyway.)

best part of the morning : 0845hrs - daniel got so pissed at me and begged me to off the boybandcrap. latifah got in a wrestling bout with dan and it was a sight. simply because she wanted 'gone' to continue playing. ismail, shahril and azahari liked it too and we laughed our asses off. the post-hardcore vocalist came to me and whispered, 'eh ben, how much ah this nsync:greatesthits'. i don't blame him. it had quality.

we ended the session by dancing (and singing) to 'byebyebye'. the actual dance-steps. i can't believe we did the shite at the exact same time when the chorus came to.

then, we opened the store.

i'm bringing mxpx tomorrow.

2005-12-11T23:57:00.000+08:00

cigarettes & valentines.

i've made a couple of new friends, as well as met up with old ones in the past week. december is starting to get better and so am i. i see 2006 on the horizon.

kicking back with set for glory and west grand boulevard after the show was a treat. sameer has his jokes to keep all of us company and bumper cars with bryan and erik were insane. the leaven trait versus west grand boulevard bumper car battles, i call it. hilarious. i got my ass kicked because my ride was slow-ass. i could even cruise with erik at one point and chat. everyones vehicle had nitro. met the ladies (and gentleman...i didn't forget you mr.ahmad)of TJC. pretty neat bunch, had a couple of drinks with them and i remember how easily i connect with younger folks.

did i mention that we had santa play bass for us this x'mas gig at tampines? no? well, he did. and he rocked. so did everyone who came to the show. thank you for everything, we heard the screams, we heard the cheers, the hearts. we're nothing on stage without you guys. thank you for being there. wrong bus, late, or whatever. we still love you. the leaven trait loves you too Mr G. props to John of WGB too, for being the coolest guy on the set that evening, helping me with my drum setup from start to end.

i've been listening to some 80s/90s stuff lately. they remind me of my past. abit more way back, before the strife, before the psychos. and they make me happy, of course. i miss my sister and playing along the corridoors with daryl's tricycle and my toys. i miss sleeping on my sister's lap in the car when we're driving back home from the family dinners we used to have. i sleep because i was afraid i would vomit in the car. one of my favourite feel good movies has always been 'the goonies'. its the perfect blueprint motiontrack of my life. the underdogs, consisting of a rag-tag group of friends. the funny one, the fat one, the one of the other race, the cute girl, the ugly one, the smart one, the old one and yes...the leader. they, plagued by the powerful enemy, must overcome stupifying odds and some how triumphs in the end.

i must have looked like a camel. nice people offered me h20 through the night. you are all angels, bless you. plus ferrero chocolates, how pleasant. thank you irene.

roxanne baked me a cake! and a small world it is. yes?

in other news.

here is an unwritten rule. thefishtankdrummer once gave me some words of wisom, 'they do not come to the store. they are not welcome'. have common sense and not come here. trust me.

love is the stage.

2005-12-07T15:51:00.000+08:00

www.leaventrait.net

This is long overdue. Because we've always wanted a mailing list for our band (its probably in your mailbox by now!), but never really got down to it. So with the trauma of exams, hectic work schedules and loser ex-girlfriends outta the way, we can safely say that we're back on track, keeping the punkrock flag flying high! We would like to invite everyone we know (and don't!) to our live shows! So if you're free or happen to be around the vicinity, come on down for a barrage of fast paced, high-energy music!

Upcoming gig!

The Giving Tree
10th December 2005, Saturday 6:45pm
Open field, Tampines MRT Station (it's just outside the MRT station)
Bands!: The Leaven Trait, Set For Glory, West Grand Boulevard and Surreal.

Find/Listen to us online!

Official Bandsite - www.leaventrait.net
MySpace - www.myspace.com/theleaventrait
Purevolume - www.purevolume.com/theleaventrait

Thank you for being our friends, our critics, our supper kakis and mostly, part of our music experience. Your support means everything. See you at the shows!

With punkrock goodness and much love,

The Leaven Trait
Hambril.Joel.Roslan.Ben

2005-11-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

147 sleepless nights into this blockbuster sunset. i'm a circa survive.

people o people.

a drizzly tuesday night with sam was inspiring. ice-cream was super. it is a vital part of my diet and excellent company is a must. you were right about focusing on what i have, instead of what's not there. and sing i say...sing!colinborderssquarepants is the overall prototype nice guy. minus the emoshite bits. good on you. rox said that i should be proud of myself. for i made it out alive. with the help of hearts. at least i still have friends.

eh how does interlocking arms deem someone a girlfriend? wait. so we're going traditional all of a sudden now? funky-ass cartoon. i cannot look at you. and you will never know. you might not even care. and you on the other hand, keep walking funny, catty.

armed with tremendous patience for as long as i know. the endurance to let me sleep anywhere and anytime i want...or needed to. you know who you are, you know what you are.

because there is a difference between feeling immensely fucked up, and exorcising the utter disappointmenr of a girl i thought i knew, not as an individual...but from one human being to another.

and honestly, i'm getting sick of writing about her and the like. but i'm glad its all fading away and telling me so. look, here comes 2006.

(a quote i took notice of recently)

"It's not about what happened in the past, or what you think might happen in the future. It's about the ride, for Christ's sake. There is no point in going through all this crap, if you're not going to enjoy the ride. And you know what... when you least expect something great might come along. Something better then you even planned for." - Along Came Polly

2005-11-28T22:27:00.000+08:00

Courtesy of Plongin.

2005-11-26T13:28:00.000+08:00

it hit me for a couple of days. strangely, it matched what i exactly wanted to hear but totally unexpected it. let's not even mention your residence. though your name is a bad memory, you're definitely no 'once upon a time'. i never really felt good about that night at the playground. then again, i never really felt good about her.

she's a good, misty-eyed storyteller.

2005-11-23T22:34:00.000+08:00

.

we like playing loud music to people who like loud music.
we like playing loud music to people who like not so loud music.
we like playing loud music because we like to watch other people play loud music.
we like playing loud music because we like to watch people watch us play loud music.
we like playing loud music because that is what we do.

"The 3rd Degree Friend Show' @ Prince of Wales, Dunlop Street - Little India. Admission is Free.
26th November 2005. Saturday. 10:00pm

The Leaven Trait

2005-11-14T00:02:00.000+08:00

just some random stuff i was thinking about and decided to put it up here.

adam & eve
arwen & aragon
starsky & hutch
robin hood & maid marion
romeo & juliet
tarzan & jane
popeye & olive
bert & ernie
pebbles & bam bam
donald & daisy duck
batman & robin
siegfried & roy
superman & lois lane
jack & rose
buffy & angel
cloak & dagger
sherlock holmes & dr.watson
barbie & ken
roadrunner & coyote
stockton & malone

any more ideas of famous couples?

2005-11-08T01:09:00.000+08:00

we need to learn how to hotwire a uterus.

2005-11-06T23:14:00.000+08:00

dear friends,

kindly help me out with a little survey. it's for a friend's project regarding blogging and freedom of speech. thanks.

click here!

2005-11-05T16:44:00.000+08:00

signs.

for the first time in 8 years, Borders was hit by a major blackout on the 4th of november. the store almost hit chaos point because of parentless kids and concerned consumers. well you can't read in the dark and can't get your change of $100 with maximum power failure. birkenstock/apple/saeki sushi/fish and Co/NYDC...we were all shutdown. interesting. i was speaking with Jun when pitch darkness hit the bookstore. i injected abit of humour when Jun 'vanished' before my very eyes, mentioning that we could now push sales for the 'nightlight' product that we had in stock for people who love reading in the dark. -shrugs-

we started manning the electronic gates (you know? shoplifters) and scrambling for torchlights. i got mine and began combing for lost aunties or crying children. i found none, but did locate about a dozen or so customers still huddled in various corners of the bookstore, still trying to read...in the half-ass darkness. quite hilarious at first, until they were informed that we had to evacuate the building. terrorist attack? maybe. borders is a U.S company after all and our patrons hail from all over the globe. but nah, pure power failure.

angel above me.

2005-11-05T16:40:00.000+08:00

The Leaven Trait.

2005-11-05T00:55:00.000+08:00

Borders. Class of 2005. Read or Die.

2005-11-03T01:15:00.000+08:00

strange but true.

[1] he runs the LOTR trilogy thru the night, while he sleeps.

[2] he sleeps on the cold parquet floor, so the sensation changes.

[3] he vomits before every stage performance.

[4] he used to kiss all the kids at school when he was 7.

[5] he is as naggy as your mother.

[6] he is a magnet to the unstable but undeniably alluring.

[7] he dreams hard of playing the guitar and fronting his own band.

[8] he doesn't care what you think. of course not.

[9] he has a favourite number, 9.

[10] he looks forward to his job and rushes to the bookstore every morning.

[11] he believes in karma. and what went around, will absolutely come around.

[12] he would rather fall in love, than do anything else.

[13] he actually woke up, got outta bed, turned on his computer just to add this last point.

[14] he added this last, last point so it didn't have to end at unlucky 13.

[15] he would very much like to go back to bed now so he can fufill point [10].

2005-11-01T23:15:00.000+08:00

'buts'

it got in the way
so that's 121 days of the restless
i want to talk to you so badly
but i do not have your phone number.

tonight is going to be difficult. again.

2005-10-30T17:56:00.000+08:00

the fight or flight response

i've given up hope on hairdressers and barbers a long time ago. the nice ahlian aunties at the hairdressers' never understand (TLT!) what i want and i usually end up with an ah-beng type hairstyle or something worse. my malay barber friends get it right, sometimes, but it ends up salah when it grows out. salah, not different.

desparate situations call for desparate measures. so last week, i got 3 random friends to cut my hair for me, in addtion to my own pair of callous newbie hands.
cara had 20 mins air time, eugene took about 4 mins and latifah made good use of a full 30 mins to entertain the back of my head and the sides. i managed to take care of the rest. i pretty much wanted josie to have a go, but she was too busy...that, and i was too impatient. speaking of which, don't cut yours josie. you look great.

i've been making alot of new friends in the past few months. meeting different people has been a good experience for me. after alot of walking and talking (and probably 56 scoops of sticky chewy chocolate)i came to a conclusion. there is no such thing as normal. and that we, men and women, are all psychotic in our own ways. the key here, is to find some who is not so ca-razy...and work from there.

i'm probably as insane as anyone one of you. it surprises me that we both walked the same path. but its alright. that only tells me that i am not alone, which is no doubt comforting. my view from the top is that there are 2 camps. those that are self-destructive and do harm to others. those who lie, those who deceit. those who refuse to admit that they have hurt the one true thing that was right in front of them all along.

and there are those who fall into shadow because of their counterparts. i am glad to have met you all...and i expect to meet many more of you. misery does enjoy company and its good that you can laugh about it. me? i'm not ready yet. i am bitter and do not find it hilarious though i jest with my friends about it.

i make it a point to laugh at myself because i am silently hoping that one day someone will laugh about it with me instead....and tell me that everything will be alright.

2005-10-21T01:37:00.000+08:00

2005-10-18T22:35:00.000+08:00

On the outs,
When she don't like you anymore
On the outs,
Your picture's shattered on the floor
On the outs,
Your clothes are scattered out the door
On the outs,
When things just don't seem like before

So you want to get her back now,
But you don't really know how
You've tried everything, and nothings working

What would be your first clue,
That she don't really like you?
Was it the way she never had much to say?

Do you need a sample?
Or maybe an example?
Of real life and forgiveness to get over this

So take a little time out,
And learn that you can live without
A dead-end girlfriend that you've put all your faith in

Manipulation's cut your throat,
And now there's blood stains on your coat

- mxpx

2005-10-16T16:09:00.000+08:00

i've been here before a few times.

someone new comes into the picture, creates this whooha. and in a split second you think everything's gonna be better, everything's gonna be fresh. my life is changing. that's what chemistry is all about right? that universal feeling of 'two becoming one'? how many people can we think of that are exactly like that? are you together because you have too? or just cause you cannot. but yeah, you go ahead with the daily hurt, you go right ahead. to those that enter your life, come expectations. you want her to feel this way, say this, mean that. and it doesn't matter if she's crazy or just plain fucked up because that's love, sometimes. i don't know what the 'other times' are. but yeah. i'll do my best, i'll do my best. i'll do my best to make it work.

my mother once told me that i am responsible for my own happiness. i am bent on telling you to fuck off if you're not here to help, simply because i don't need this right now. most of you are like her. so walk away. it has taken me awhile but yeah, i learned that people come and go in my life, whether i like it or not. i've never chosen to accept it. the basketball teams, counterstrike clans, outdoor adventure groups, classmates of all levels of my education, your worse friends and closest enemies, the girls you once loved....the local music scene.

i'm doing what i can right now.

regardless.

because i've been here before, a few times.

2005-10-07T03:14:00.000+08:00

the brightside of mr brightside.

he sat there at a corner and she dropped by. she stood there beside him, bent down and rubbed her finger on his lips. in her glee, she promised she'd allow her other to touch her blade. the very same blade i met. zenith-joy, the name. orgasmic laughter we never knew, as they broke up because they were broken up. her words were written hard. hard. hard. as she threw them into the fire she stop to watch them turn into lyrical flames...she feels better. the ash is still on your bedroom floor. and you try to act like you're tough. come on, show me how tough you really are behind that flickering wall. he has learned a great lesson from his sister and his brother, chrono-alpha siblings because most of us cannot afford it. but they paid the price.

you're punk, not pop. she said.
you're listless, help yourself. she said.
you're hurt, she's here to teach you. she said.
lipbalm. bunny. lipbalm. she said.
what the fuck is going on. she said.

damsel oh damsel, what rocks your socks. marry you? you're not real. really.

mr. brightside.

I'm coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss
Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking a drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his-chest
Now, he takes off her dress
Now, letting me go

And I just can't look its killing me
And taking control
Jealousy, turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
'Cause I'm Mr Brightside.

I never. I never.

by The Killers, not me.

2005-10-05T23:30:00.000+08:00

www.doubleyellowline.org [YOU WILL GO TO THIS GIG.]

2005-09-25T22:53:00.000+08:00

The League of Leaven Traitors. Saving Lives thru Punkrock.

2005-09-24T19:00:00.000+08:00

Coheed & Cambria : Take One.

2005-09-24T11:33:00.000+08:00

i'm adeekted.

click me.

f.o.d

2005-09-21T13:35:00.000+08:00

lady all men are mortal/what to do when you don't know what to do/i am hungry by default/comedy nights with head of the state....

and then i have to leave the house.

2005-09-19T05:05:00.000+08:00

dear ariel,

it is not as easy as i thought.
i wish you would get here, faster.

october is on her way.